How I regained my confidence as a scientist through rowing

From ScienceMag:

It’s 5:25 a.m. on a Thursday and my alarm goes off. I sluggishly get up from bed, add several layers of clothing, and make my way toward the chilly River Cam for my first ever race. As I get closer to the boathouse, doubt and fear start to bubble up. Can I really do this? But when my paddle touches the water, a calmness washes over me. I take it one stroke at a time; if I mess up, I just breathe and keep going. The mindset I’ve developed as a rower keeps me focused and in control—and as we zip down the river, I realize it’s helped me regain my confidence as a scientist, too.

As a child, I was convinced that a career in global health was for me. I dreamt of becoming a doctor and biomedical researcher, envisioning myself as a sort of Black Lara Croft, fearless and daring—except instead of searching for artifacts, I’d create groundbreaking cures and treat patients all around the world.

But as the years progressed, my dream seemed increasingly unattainable. During college, I was one of the only Black students in my STEM courses. It was hard to see myself in a field in which so few people from my background were represented.

As a first-generation student, I also struggled to find guidance on how to reach my career goal. Unlike many of my peers, I did not have family members or connections who were doctors or scientists. I was often told my dream was too ambitious: I wanted to become both a neuroimmunology researcher and a neurosurgeon, helping people in low- and middle-income countries. But my undergraduate advisers were skeptical and suggested I focus on just one field of study.

These experiences shook my confidence and left me questioning my plans. Even after I started my Ph.D., I often felt I didn’t belong there. And I was plagued with doubts about the two massive projects I had taken on. I felt so overwhelmed by everything I would have to do over the next 3 years that I struggled to even get started.

But things changed after I started rowing.

I initially joined my college’s boat club as a way to fully immerse myself in the student experience and develop a community away from home. It seemed like a fun and exciting new opportunity—and I soon found it to be an empowering one, too.

Within a couple months of starting to row, I’d found a new level of confidence.

• Jasmine Gabriel Hughes
• University of Cambridge

Rowing suffers from the same lack of diversity as biomedical research, with very few Black women rowers at my university. When I joined the boat club, I was nervous I would stand out or the rowing community wouldn’t accept me—the same feeling I experienced in science. But despite my initial fears, I was embraced by my fellow rowers, who not only gave me support and guidance to improve my technique, but also made me feel appreciated and valued. As a result, when I’m having my doubts about belonging in science, I now reflect on the fact I’m already doing something I once thought would be impossible for me.

Rowing also helped me develop discipline and a new approach for tackling difficult tasks. At first, I felt overwhelmed by what seemed like unattainable goals, such as rowing nonstop for 2 kilometers in less than 8 minutes. But I realized that by breaking these goals down into smaller steps, I was able to set mini-milestones that were much less intimidating and more feasible.

I began to use a similar strategy in my Ph.D.: By viewing my projects as a series of small goals, they became much more manageable. During the process of designing my first lab experiment, for instance, I started to stress over the complexity of all the procedures involved. But instead of giving in to the fear of being inadequate, I began to focus on how I could make sure each step was successful. Within a couple months of starting to row, I’d found a new level of confidence—both on the water and in the lab.

On that early Thursday morning on the river, I’m so focused on my strokes that I’m surprised when a loud blowhorn goes off. As I catch my breath, it starts to dawn on me that I’ve completed my first race. And suddenly, my future career as physician-scientist finally begins to seem attainable, too.

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