After a hurricane, I felt guilty continuing my studies abroad—but I’m glad I did

From ScienceMag:

The email came 2 weeks after Hurricane Maria ravaged Puerto Rico. I was an undergraduate student at the University of Puerto Rico-Río Piedras and my honors program wanted to know whether I would be interested in an opportunity to temporarily continue my studies elsewhere. Brown University, a school I’d never heard of, was offering 30 of us the chance to take classes there while our university recovered. Amid the devastating news of thousands of deaths and billions of dollars in damage to the island, the offer seemed too good to be true. However, my family encouraged me to go, and soon I found myself on a private flight to Rhode Island. The hurricane had blown me off my planned course, and set me on an unexpected path toward a Ph.D.

I started college dreaming of becoming a forensic pathologist. I wanted to help give a voice to those who could no longer speak. I would need a medical degree, so I enrolled as a premed biology major and focused on my first-year coursework. Research wasn’t on my radar, partly because such opportunities in Puerto Rico were limited.

The following year, the hurricane hit. I felt oddly optimistic before the storm—thinking we’d get a few days off and life would go on, just as it always had. Instead, the Category 5 monster leveled our communities, leaving people without power or water for months. Days passed before we could reconnect with loved ones. When I finally saw my grandmother, she hugged me tightly, crying, “I was so scared something happened to you.”

Unexpected challenges can create opportunities for growth and redirection.

• Melanie Ortiz Alvarez De La Campa
• Brown University

On the flight north, which was chartered by Brown, everything felt surreal—leather seats, fresh fruit, and, after landing, a reception in a mansion. I felt conflicted. Here I was, feeling joy and wonder at a new experience, while everyone back home struggled.

Brown set us up with classes, books, dorm rooms, and funds to purchase winter clothes. It was in one of those classes, an introductory biology course, that my trajectory began to shift. I was captivated by the professor’s lecture and, on a whim, reached out after class. To my surprise, he immediately offered me a research position in his lab.

I was assigned to work on a project that involved modeling how climate change could alter the distributions of plants across North America. The research opened my eyes to the important work scientists were doing to address urgent, relevant questions.

I began to see a path in science beyond medicine, and at Brown I had the resources to follow it. I had direct access to faculty, state-of-the-art research facilities, and a supportive academic environment. As the academic year came to a close, I stayed on to do a summer research program, where I fell in love with microbiology.

I began to think a Ph.D. was what I wanted. Yet, despite the excitement, I felt doubtful, anxious, and guilty. I struggled to reconcile my new opportunities with the devastation back home. I also worried about leaving behind my dream of medicine to pursue a path that I was excited about but that might not lead to a job in Puerto Rico.

Before I left Brown, my summer research mentor told me, “If you ever want to pursue a Ph.D., I’d be honored to mentor you.” After I confided in him about my conflicted feelings on the future, he replied: “There’s nothing better than doing what excites you.” The words felt like permission to follow my passion.

Back in Puerto Rico, I spent my final years doing all I could to get myself admitted to graduate school. And 3 years later, I returned to Brown—this time as a Ph.D. student. Fittingly, my first weekend back brought a hurricane to Rhode Island. It felt oddly like home.

Now that I’m in the fourth year of my Ph.D., my journey has taught me that unexpected challenges can create opportunities for growth and redirection. My pivot from medicine to research wasn’t a loss, but an acknowledgement of where I could have the greatest impact while still doing something that excites me.

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