My academic job offer was rescinded. I’ll keep going—but U.S. researchers are running out of road
From ScienceMag:
It took just 30 minutes for my carefully constructed future to crumble. First came the email, at 9:48 a.m. on 3 July. “Due to university budget constraints, we must rescind your job offer,” it read. The tenure-track position I had been weighing for weeks had vanished. Do not panic, I commanded myself. I had a backup option: to stay at my current institution, which despite a hiring freeze had stretched to also offer me a tenure-track position, though with only a small startup package. But a few minutes later, I was on a scheduled call with the program officer for my grant from the National Institutes of Health (NIH). He gently explained that I couldn’t activate the award unless my institution committed much more funding of its own. I sat frozen until day care called: My 2-year-old had bumped his head and I needed to sign an accident report at pickup. That mundane errand became an anchor in a fast-moving river, reminding me there were still dinners to cook, bedtime stories to read, a family to nurture, a life to live.
Twenty months earlier, I had been full of naïve optimism as I started the 2023–24 job season. But 200 hours of applications yielded only two screening interviews and zero offers. Search committees were polite but blunt: “We’re looking for external funding.” So, I threw myself into grant writing. By midsummer 2024 I held a fundable score on an NIH K award, intended to help early-career investigators transition into independent roles. My calendar lit up: screening calls with several institutions, and two on-site visits. Success, I told myself, is a numbers game. File enough grants, book enough flights, and one door will stay open.
Then the political winds shifted. In February, a proposed cut to NIH indirect costs spooked university administrators nationwide. University C, which had planned to invite me for a second visit, froze hiring. University R went silent. Only University A pressed ahead. I delivered a Zoom seminar in March, a chalk talk in April, and received a job offer in May.
But ecstasy quickly gave way to anxiety when my husband, who works in biotech, couldn’t find a job in the same city. June blurred into spreadsheets and insomnia. Should we live apart so he could keep his current job? Perhaps, but who would the kids live with? I’d be launching a new lab; it couldn’t be me. Yet I’m their mother, and I want to kiss them good night every single day until they won’t let me. How about one parent with each child, on a rotating schedule? Too chaotic. Could my husband work in my lab? Aside from nepotism rules, I’d also like to stay married. I told University A I needed more time to decide.
If I stayed at my current institution, how much preliminary data could I generate on the limited startup budget? I feared a hopeless loop: no data, no new grants, no money to generate data. University A granted me a 1-week extension. But before I had a chance to decide, Congress passed the new spending bill, and I received that email saying the offer was canceled.
I allowed myself 1 day to mourn, rage‑scribbling in my notebook, eating ice cream for dinner, calling friends who had survived academic limbo. Their stories shared a common theme: Careers look linear only in hindsight. Offers vanish, grants get triaged, political tides turn. We keep going. But exactly how many detours can a junior scientist afford before running out of road?
That sleepless night, a flood in Texas claimed more than 130 lives, many of them children. Faced with real tragedy, my hardship shrank. A tenure‑track position is not life or death, and most setbacks are temporary (at least I hope!). Write one more grant even when the last review stings. Send one more email asking for an opening. Accept that “yes” can morph into “no” overnight, and sometimes back again.
I still don’t know whether my institution can piece together a patchwork startup big enough to activate the K grant; the department chair promises to “see what we can do.” I don’t know when I will unlock a lab door bearing my name. I can’t predict the next hiring cycle or the next election. But I can keep doing the science I love while I still have a bench. Between mouse surgeries and bedtime stories, I’ll write the next proposal. That, I’ve decided, is what resilience really means.